this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
