8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize