She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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