Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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