Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
