Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
