Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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