It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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