Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
