At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize