The maid of honor just puked.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we made out on top of his cat.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
