Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
