Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
