and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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