are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
