Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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