We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
