Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
