I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
