bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
