i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
