a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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