my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
