Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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