I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
