I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
