Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
