areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
