i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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