We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
