wake up i wanna do it froggy style
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
