never play flip cup with pint glasses
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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