I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
