yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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