it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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