some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
