I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
