belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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