I wish I only lived at night.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
