i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
