This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize