I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
