All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
