I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
