I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
