I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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