i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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