I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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