im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
