im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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