i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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