Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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