White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
