At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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