So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
