you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The power of my boobs compel you
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
