my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
