I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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