how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
