yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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