Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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