my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
not ubering you a puppy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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