there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
